Throughout my mom’s life, she has exemplified remarkable forgiveness, particularly in the face of her extraordinarily difficult upbringing, which has persisted from birth to this day.

She was conceived when her mother, Arnell, was just 15 years old. Then her mother made her be put up for adoption. She wanted to keep her.

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As a Baby she was left alone and not nurtured in foster care. At age two she couldn’t walk or feed herself. She was supposed to die because she was so small and wasn’t meeting any of the milestones but never did. They didn’t understand special needs back then. Praise God they do now.

As a Young girl she finally got adopted but was badly abused by them mentally, physically, and sexually. She was starved and kept in a basement without a bathroom and left alone for days several times. This was from age five to eleven.  The school noticed signs of abuse but didn’t have enough evidence to take her out of the home. She was too afraid to tell anyone and didn’t really realize that other homes were not like that.

Finally the state got involved after her adopted Dad died and then they took her away. She was put in an orphanage because the adopted parents family didn’t want to care for her. She then went from orphanage to foster care until she came of age.  In the system she wasn’t treated very well either. Other kids who were also hurting made fun of her unique abilities.

Several foster homes were not nurturing; they just wanted the money typically. Until one family took her out of a group home to care for her and accepted her as family. They offered to pay for her wedding because she was too old to be adopted at that point. They helped her with her alcohol use and brought her to church. She got saved at age 18. At age 27, she finally found her mom through a program to reunite families. She spoke to her for the first time and met her in person a few months later. She still does not know who her father is to this day, or if he even knows she exists. So many unanswered questions. She did get married to my father and had four beautiful children from that marriage. She was also able to continue a relationship with my father, even after their divorce.  She still has a good relationship with him. She forgave her adopted mom and accepted her back into her life as well.

She worked with many children throughout her life and now works as a senior companion to six different people whom she cares for and loves as family. She is praying for a Godly, loving husband who will love and care for her. She still has many physical and health challenges but wholeheartedly loves to serve God. Please pray for her; she deserves a loving husband.

BUT GOD. He has blessed her with so much and has always been there intervening. She has had many nice homes, cars, friends, church families, her children, and grand children.  She is excited for her future with her heavenly Father and is thankful He accepted her as His child into His family.

My mother’s life experiences have had a profound impact on me, both positively and negatively. I have harbored bitterness and resentment towards her father, her foster parents, the system, my own father, and even her, as a result of the choices that affected me and my family. I have also struggled with anger towards God, frequently asking why has He allowed my mom and family to endure such difficulties. Why hasn’t He still given my mom a husband? However, I have come to realize that God is good and is working to bring all things together for our ultimate benefit. He genuinely loves my mom, me, and my family. He has shown me there is beauty in the brokenness.  I am determined to be a model of grace and forgiveness to this next generation.

I have continued to learn forgiveness, acceptance of people who are different from me, and prayer. She is a prayer warrior. I have taken after her, and it’s a big part of why I homeschool my children and am a children’s teacher. I love learning and having fun alongside children. She loved, and still loves, to have fun with kids. She had a special needs daycare and was also a teacher. She always had all the kids at our home and played with us. We had food fights, water fights, loved to garden, go camping, sing, take midnight drives, and go to open houses just to see houses for fun. We also went to every type of church service you can think of, even the extreme Pentecostal ones. Her life has made me question God and want to know Him more. I want to learn and model Christ-like behavior as a mother and mentor to my children and this next generation.

 If you remember anything I shared, remember this: As my mother says, “Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves before we can forgive anyone else.” Corrie Ten Boom said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover that prisoner was yourself.” Wise words from one who forgave the people who imprisoned her and killed her family. A great reminder that we can forgive the impossible. Pray for the offender and let God repay.

We must forgive others just as He has forgiven us. Forgiveness is like an onion with many layers; it may take many times to be completely healed. Forgiveness becomes stronger as you deal with it. This process can sometimes be painful and make you cry. Don’t bottle it up. Hurt people hurt people. Sometimes, the person hurting you doesn’t even realize they are hurting you. You must let them know how and why they have hurt you. Set healthy expectations and boundaries if you accept them back into your life. It’s okay if you don’t. Always remember you can’t control anyone or any outcome, only yourself. Treat others the way you want to be treated; forgive the way you want to be forgiven. We all make mistakes because we have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. 

We have often heard refusing to forgive and holding on to hurts is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer the consequences. This is even more true for our souls. So, forgive and let go of the hurt. We don’t have to forget. In fact, for some hurts, we shouldn’t forget. If we do, we are just setting ourselves up to be hurt again in the same way, and maybe worse. But refusing to forgive sets us up for even more suffering.

Genuine forgiveness sets a prisoner free, and you realize that prisoner was you, which brings true hope, just as Christ Jesus has done for us. God is a God of peace and reconciliation.

Romans 15:13 ESV

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Forgive others as I have forgiven you.

Colossians 3:12-15 NIV
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Sometimes we may have to forgive The Lord, because of how We see the situation. We may be angry towards God But… we must learn to trust Him in all circumstances.

Unforgiviness has consequences that can be psychological, emotional, and spiritual.
Ephesians 4:29-32 ESV

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. [30] And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. [31] Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. [32] Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.


Forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself involves acknowledging mistakes, accepting responsibility, showing compassion, and learning from experiences to move forward with self-kindness and positive change. If you can’t forgive yourself you will stay stuck and it will affect your relationships even with God. After you make a mistake don’t dwell on it. You may feel sad, mad, or bad. Apologize to the people you hurt. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Ask for forgiveness.

I would like to share what I’ve learned, in a practical sense, about how to forgive. I do this writing exercise when I need to process an offense and want to forgive. You can do this as many times as you need on just one offense.

• I recommend you first write out the offense. (You may also find it helpful to make a list of anyone who has hurt you or things you want to forgive yourself.)

•Who, What, Where When, How. Then pray.
• Write down how it made you feel. (The consequences from their offense)
• Write down healthy expectations and boundaries.
(Trust is earned, those who hurt you may not be trusted. You must love them, but be careful. Teach people how to treat you. Do not allow them into your life if they will not acknowledge the hurt they caused you, say sorry, and are willing to abide by your rules to continue the relationship.)
• Seek wise counsel and pray some more. The Bible says we must forgive because He forgave us. We need his supernatural help to forgive those who have hurt us. You can get help to work on negative emotions and triggers. The Holy Spirit will empower you as well as a biblical counselor.
• Try to forgive the offender in your heart before telling them their offense and how it impacted you. Often people don’t realize they hurt you. Try to have empathy and put yourself in their shoes. Be honest and open.
• Write out your conversation before bringing it to their attention. Focus on reconciliation and peace during your conversation.
• Last but not least drop it. Let it go. Set the prisoner free. Yourself. Pray for the offender. Give it to God.

Forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it changes the present. The Bible doesn’t just talk about forgiveness. It also talks about loving those who hurt you. Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). And in 1 Peter 3:9, “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. It’s okay to be angry but not to retaliate. Remember vengeance is the Lord. He will repay those who have hurt you. He wants you to let go of all bitterness and resentment.

Every person deserves forgiveness and grace. We are commanded to forgive often and repeatedly. Forgiveness is God’s way Embracing forgiveness can be a powerful step toward healing. Every person deserves compassion and understanding.

By choosing to forgive, we open ourselves up to the possibility of growth and transformation. Remember to prioritize your well-being by setting healthy boundaries. Seeking support from a counselor and loved ones can also be incredibly helpful. Pray for those who may have caused you harm, always.

One of the most important types of forgiveness is repentance. Asking for forgiveness from God. This is called repentance. It is a constant saying sorry towards the things that hurt God and turning away from them. God sees everything. He is willing to forgive
Genuine forgiveness sets a prisoner free, and you realize that prisoner was you, which brings true hope, just as Christ Jesus has done for us. God is a God of peace and reconciliation.

Romans 15:13 ESV
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Thank you, God, for these wonderful reminders and the great example of my mom. I love you, God. Help me to love and forgive like you.