It doesn’t mean you don’t honor yourself. The world portrays submission negatively. Submission is not as much an “action” as it is an “attitude.” Submission boils down to a having spirit of amenability. It means being soft, receptive, responsive, and agreeable. Because of the misconceptions surrounding the definition of submission. An amenable woman is “leadable” as opposed to “ungovernable” She’s responsive to input and likely to cooperate. Amenability is part of the three-fold womanly disposition, which includes gentleness, calmness, and amenability—which works itself out in a married woman’s life in submission to her husband.
It’s extremely hard to let my husband lead as I like control and from my past its makes me feel safe. I haven’t trusted a man ever. Not even my own Dad. I use to think submitting in a negative way but it’s making me happy and healthier. I really struggle with this as I can be sassy and am very independent.
So “what it looks like” on an on-going basis, is that I am soft, receptive, and agreeable toward my husband. I love responding to his lead. I respect who God created him to be as a man—and support his efforts to provide godly oversight for our family. I respect the position of responsibility that goes along with being a husband and father. “Respect” is probably the best word to describe what submission looks like in my marriage.
For me, submission is one of those things that is far more easily identified by its absence rather than its presence. I know that I am struggling with it when I am critical, impatient, defiant, and “snarky” toward my husband—when I refuse to cooperate and am unresponsive to input, when I rush in and take control, when I fail to “provide space” to allow my husband the opportunity to be a man and provide godly oversight for our family. In other words, it’s not readily apparent to me when I’m submitting, but it’s painfully obvious to me when I am not. I sense that I am disrespecting/ disregarding my husband, taking control, and pulling against him rather than for and with him.
God designed this so that we are happy and live a fulfilling life in a marriage. Not that the husband is in charge or should demand to be submitted to or served. Husbands are called to love and respect their wives too! Husbands should never demand it’s a choice. So I need to focus on being humble with a quiet spirit so my son can learn how to be in a healthy marriage.